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Gets me blood boilin’ when they ghost ya tho. Chatted this fit lass, all sexy vibes, then poof – gone! Like Lucrecia in the film, drivin’ off into nowt. “I don’t remember anything,” she says – that’s them lot after a flirty text! Wankers. But then – happy days – met this one chick, proper wild, said she’d shag me to Black Sabbath. Surprised me bollocks off, I was like, “Fuckin’ hell, Sharon, she’s a keeper!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud music. I turn around, and there’s a street performer on Via Garibaldi. He’s playing the accordion like a boss! I’m talking full-on Italian vibes. I can’t help but dance a little. I mean, who doesn’t love a spontaneous dance party?

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