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So, picture this—I’m out, walkin’, neurotic as hell. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Is that her? Nope, just a lamppost.” Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ takeout—well, maybe it is now, who knows? I’m too old for this crap! Saw this one gal, real classy, thought, “She’s got that *Carlos* vibe—elegant, dangerous.” Then she yells at some dude, somethin’ about fifty bucks, and I’m out—poof! Not dealin’ with that drama.

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After that, I decide to grab lunch at this little trattoria on Via Mazzini. The food? To die for! I order some pasta, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. Seriously, I could live off this stuff. But then, the waiter spills water all over my lap. I’m soaked! I’m laughing, but inside I’m like, “C’mon, man!”

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