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About Rome

Listen, mate—this one time, right? Met this chick online, profile all sparkly, “loves adventures.” Thought I hit gold, yeah? Nah—shows up, talks bout her ex nonstop! Made me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!”—meanin’ peace, not her drama. Sex-dating’s a maze, like Del Toro’s flick—gotta dodge them pale man types, hands all grabby, eyes creepin’. Pissed me off, wasted my night!

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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m browsing, and I spot this old lady selling the best olives. I’m talking, like, the kind that makes you wanna dance. I buy a jar, and she gives me a wink. I’m like, “What’s that about?” But hey, I’m not complaining!

Caitlin Lavagna: Newport City Centre Christmas Lights Switch On