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Oi mate, so I’m sittin ere, thinkin bout sex escorts, yeah? Proper mad innit, like, who’d a thought I’d be chattin bout this gig! Me, David Brent, bodyguard vibes, reckon I’d be top-notch at protectin these lasses, keepin it all profesh but with a bit of flair, y’know? Love me some *No Country for Old Men* – that flick’s got edge, makes me think bout life’s chaos, and escorts, well, they’re in that mix too, ain’t they?

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to the market. The vibe there is always lit. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of pastries from the bakery on Via Garibaldi. I grab a bomb cannoli. Like, I could marry that thing. But then, I see this dude tryin’ to haggle over a tomato. A freakin’ tomato! I mean, c’mon man, it’s not gold!

The old man and the siren