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About Rome

Me fave’s this one bird—Candy, real name prolly Susan. Chain-smoked, swore like a sailor, had a tattoo of a rose bleedin’. Told me, “James, I’m the party that never ends,” winkin’ like she knew I’d shag her for free. Cheeky cow—loved her guts. Reminded me of Jep Gambardella, chasin’ beauty in the muck. “The only thing left is to cry,” she’d laugh, then nick me cigs.

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After that, we head back to the surface, and I’m all pumped. But then, I see this group of tourists on the shore. They’re laughing and pointing at us. I’m thinking, “What’s so funny?” Turns out, Marco’s still in the water, trying to do a backflip. Spoiler alert: he totally eats it. Faceplant right into the water. I can’t breathe, I’m laughing so hard.

Fig. 2. Adult of Italian Aesculapian snake, Zamenis lineatus , from...