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So, sexual-massage—think of it as overclocking your nervous system. Little known fact: Ancient Greeks were *all* over this—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes pre-orgy, post-fight. True story! Gets the blood pumpin’, dopamine spikin’, like a SpaceX launch in your spine. I tried it once—some chick in Shanghai, hands like a Neuralink prototype, precise as hell. Made me happy as a Starship hittin’ orbit. But—plot twist—some dude in LA botched it, all awkward elbows, no rhythm. Pissed me off—like, bro, you’re not debuggin’ code here, chill!

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So, I leave the shop, feeling all frustrated. I decide to walk it off. I head down to the old castle ruins. It’s quiet there, and I can finally breathe. I sit on a rock, looking out over the town. It’s stunning. The view from up there is insane. I’m thinking, “Why can’t life be this simple?”

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