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About Naples

So, I was chattin’ with Lenny bout this – he’s all, “Homer, it’s the future!” – and I’m like, pfft, future my ass! It’s horny people with phones! But lemme tell ya, it’s crazy how it works. You swipe, you wink, you sext – BAM! – next thing, you’re meetin’ some stranger in a shady bar. Reminds me of that movie line, “You’re screwing everything up!” ‘Cause half the time, it’s a mess! Guy says he’s 6’2”, shows up lookin’ like a hobbit – D’oh! Made me so mad I coulda punched a wall!

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So, I’m chasing this bird down the street. I’m yelling, “Get back here, you feathered thief!” People are staring. I’m pretty sure I saw a couple of tourists laughing. Whatever, I’m not ashamed. I finally get my sandwich back, but now I’m late for my next spot. Ugh!

Tony Lariño has been appointed Managing Director of Investments at HEI Hotels & Resorts