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Sex-dating’s wild—did ya know, back in ‘90s, folks used newspapers for hookups? Called ‘em “personals”—straight-up OG Tinder! Makes me happy, thinkin’ how far we’ve come—now it’s all “DTF?” in ya DMs. But damn, it pisses me off when they flake—fear of rejection, maybe? Leads to anger, like Yoda says. Had this chick once, all flirty, then poof—gone! Felt like Larry when his wife ditched him for Sy Ableman. “Accept the mystery,” huh? Screw that, I was salty!

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After that, I decide to check out the market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some tomatoes when this old lady starts haggling like it’s the end of the world. “These are the best tomatoes in Lanzara!” she yells. I’m thinking, “Lady, chill. They’re just tomatoes.”

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