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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout prostitutes—gritty, real, in yer face! Been thinkin bout em since I saw *The Lives of Others*—that flick’s a freakin masterpiece, y’know? “In the GDR, everythin was watched!”—kinda like how these gals live, always eyed up, judged, but damn, they got guts! Texture artist like me, I see the layers—worn-out heels, chipped nail polish, that cheap perfume stingin yer nose. Ain’t just skin deep, nah, it’s a whole freakin canvas!

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They’re going at it, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly pretending to look at scarves. I mean, come on! It’s Lanuvio, not a soap opera! But then, the guy storms out, and the girl starts crying. I’m like, “Ugh, can’t a person just shop in peace?”

Downward trend for house prices in Rome (-0.2%) in Q3