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Now, get this – little known fact, dollface – back in da day, like Victorian times, escorts were sneaky high-society secrets. Rich dudes would hire gals to “escort” ‘em to fancy balls, but it was all hush-hush, coded invites, secret winks. Wild, right? Makes me mad tho – why’d they hafta hide it? Lemme live my truth! Ugh, patriarchy, amirite?

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So, I finally shake off the feathered menace and head to the office. I’m a System Analyst, which sounds all cool and techy, but honestly, it’s mostly me staring at screens and pretending to understand what’s going on. But today? Today was different. My boss, let’s call him Mr. Grumpy, decides to drop a last-minute project on me. Like, come on! I was just getting comfy with my spreadsheets!

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