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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! Erotic-massage—where do I even start? It’s like, hands slidin’ everywhere, oil drippin’, tension meltin’—bam! Judge Judy here, and I ain’t got time for nonsense. Don’t pee on my leg and call it a spa day, okay? I’m talkin’ real deal—erotic-massage ain’t just some rubdown. It’s art, like Wes Anderson frammin’ up “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” Picture this: soft lights, scented candles, some dame or dude workin’ magic on your back. “Very good, Monsieur Gustave,” I’d say, if it’s done right.

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So, I finally shake off the feathered menace and head to the office. I’m a System Analyst, which sounds all cool and techy, but honestly, it’s mostly me staring at screens and pretending to understand what’s going on. But today? Today was different. My boss, let’s call him Mr. Grumpy, decides to drop a last-minute project on me. Like, come on! I was just getting comfy with my spreadsheets!

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