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What pisses me off? Cheapskates, ugh! They’re all, “Just a quickie rub,” but nah, this ain’t no fast food joint, mate. Takes skill, feelin’ the flow, findin’ them secret knots—bam! Love it when they melt tho, eyes rollin’ back, like they seein’ ghosts. Makes me cackle, we swears! Best bit? Lil’ known fact—ancient Greeks did this sh*t too, called it “anatripsis.” Horny philosophers gettin’ oiled up, wild, right?

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This place isn't an ayurvedic spa. It's a hub of sexual abuse and serving food that's inedible and frankly just disgusting. I had to report a sexual abuse.

After that, I wandered over to the Parco della Rimembranza. It’s this beautiful park, right? Trees everywhere, and the vibe is just chill. I plopped down on a bench, and suddenly, this kid runs by with a kite. A freakin’ kite! I haven’t seen one of those in ages. I felt a wave of nostalgia hit me. I used to fly kites all the time as a kid. But then, outta nowhere, the wind picks up, and the kid’s kite crashes into a tree. I laughed so hard! Poor kid, but c’mon, that was hilarious.

NEW RELEASE: AMRINDER GILL & SAJJAN ADEEB – DARSHAN MEHNGE