Mila Lagonegro Sex Escort ❤️

About Bari

What pisses me off? The fakes, man! Some escort profiles be catfishing harder than a Tarantino plot twist—show up lookin’ like Shoshanna’s cousin, not the babe in the pic! But when it’s real? Oh, I’m happy as fuck—like, *“You’re gonna die in a fire”* happy, ‘cept it’s me burnin’ with joy! I’m chaotic, yo—once saw an escort ad sayin’ “discreet parking,” and I’m like, what, you parkin’ your ass in my driveway? Absurd!

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Then, the door swings open, and in walks this dude. He’s got a mohawk that’s taller than my chair. I’m thinkin’, “What the heck?” He sits down, and I’m like, “You sure you want me to touch that?” He laughs and says, “Just make it sharper!” I’m like, “Sharp? You want a weapon or a haircut?”

Jakub Urbanowicz with Lagonegro