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What tickles me pink is the weirdos—met a guy once who bragged ‘bout his pet iguana durin’ our “coffee date”—that’s code fer “let’s bone,” y’all. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ latte, thinkin’, “I’m too old fer this shit,” but also, “Well, ain’t that a hoot?” Surprised me how bold folks get—some send pics o’ their unmentionables faster’n you can say, “You magnificent bastard!” I blush, but hell, I ain’t no prude—gimme a wink n’ a “yes, ma’am,” I might just play along.

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So, I lock up and head to the market. It’s packed! People everywhere, haggling over fresh fish and veggies. I spot this old lady selling the best arancini. I mean, these things are like little balls of heaven! I grab one, and it’s so hot, I almost burn my tongue. Worth it, though.

Escaped circus lion spends hours on the loose in seaside town