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Sarcasm time—sure, it’s “just a massage,” like I’m “just a president”! Ha! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but I heard some places got secret menus—like at In-N-Out, but spicier! Little typo moment—tought I’d try it once, chickened out—classic Joe! Anyway, sexual-massage—kinda funny, kinda freaky—leaves ya happy, unless the bill hits. Then you’re screamin’, “This is worse than Auschwitz!”—too far? Sorry, *Son of Saul* brain! Point is—it’s real, it’s raw, and damn, it’s a trip! What’s your take, pal?

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First off, I hit up Via del Prione for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this guy in front of me orders a “decaf soy latte with extra foam.” Like, dude, what are you, a hipster from Milan? I roll my eyes so hard, I almost see my brain. But whatever, I get my coffee, and it’s bomb. Like, liquid happiness in a cup.

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