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About Milan

So escort, right—people think it’s all glitz, cash flowin’, champagne poppin’. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t that simple! Some billionaire creep—yeah, “Billionaires should not exist!”—pays big bucks for a date, but the escort’s hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, dealin’ with weirdos. I read once—true story—back in the ‘90s, this escort in Vegas got hired by some casino tycoon just to sit in his penthouse and knit! Knit! For six hours! She made bank, but what a nutjob, right? Laughed my ass off hearin’ that—capitalism’s wild, man!

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First off, I hit up Via del Prione for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this guy in front of me orders a “decaf soy latte with extra foam.” Like, dude, what are you, a hipster from Milan? I roll my eyes so hard, I almost see my brain. But whatever, I get my coffee, and it’s bomb. Like, liquid happiness in a cup.

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