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About Bologna

So, I tried it once, right? Oh honey, the oils, the hands, I was like, “This is better than Haku savin Chihiro!” Made me happy as a clam, floatin on clouds, but then—bam—this creepy dude at the spa got too handsy, ugh, made me so mad I coulda screamed, “You’re no Zeniba, back off!” Total buzzkill. Still, when it’s good, it’s real good—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin, ya feel alive, like Chihiro facin that stinky river spirit, heh heh heh!

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essi Gold is a little shy to be all naked on a massage table, but her skillful masseur knows what he's doing. He starts with a gentle full-body rubdown and then concentrates his efforts on .

But then, just as I’m about to take a bite, this kid bumps into me. My gelato goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Nooooo!” The kid’s all “Sorry!” and I’m like, “Dude, you just ruined my life!” Okay, maybe I overreacted a bit, but c’mon!

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