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Little known fact, tho—did ya know some prostitutes got codes? Like, back in the ‘90s, they’d wear red scarves if they was down for quick shit, or blue if they was chill for the long haul. This chick? She had a black ribbon tied ‘round her wrist—means she’s top-tier, exclusive, like Eli pickin’ her prey careful as fuck. I’m impressed, like, “Damn, shorty, you fancy, huh?”

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Then, I decide to grab a coffee at this little café on Corso Matteotti. Best espresso ever! I mean, I’ve had my fair share of bad brews, but this one? Pure magic. I’m sipping it, feeling like a king, when suddenly, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my pastry! Like, seriously? I’m a warrior, not a pastry thief! I swat it away, and the old lady next to me just cackles. I’m like, “Lady, you think this is funny?”

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