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Fun fact, tho—did ya know sexual-massage been ‘round since ancient times? Them Greeks was wild—called it “tantric touch” or some mess. They’d rub you down with olive oil, sayin’ it’s for “healin’.” Healin’, my big ol’ foot! They was freaky-deaky and knew it! I’m over here cacklin’—imagine Socrates gettin’ a happy endin’ and writin’ a dang philosophy ‘bout it!

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So, I hit the streets of Ivrea, and let me tell ya, the vibe was electric. I strolled down Via Palestro, and the sun was shining like it was trying to blind me. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But then I see this cute little café, Caffè Gallo, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe a quick espresso won’t hurt.” Spoiler alert: it hurt. I downed that shot like it was water, and my heart started racing. I felt like I was about to take off.

Thorium zoning in monazite: A case study from the Ivrea–Verbano zone, NW Italy