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Me? I’d pick one with style. Like, if I’m payin’, they better vibe. Maybe quote some “Pan’s Labyrinth” at me. “A long time ago, in the underground realm…” - boom, I’m sold. Ain’t no fairy tale, tho. You gotta watch your wallet. And your back. Escorts can be slick - heard this story once. Chick took a guy’s whole watch collection. Left him with a note: “Time’s up, sucker.” Savage. Laughed my ass off at that.

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So, I’m standing there, looking like a mess, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on Corso Vittorio Emanuele. This guy is juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m trying to be sad here!” But I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who juggles fire in the middle of a mourning procession? Only in Ittiri, I swear.

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