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So, sex-dating—where do I start? It’s wild, like Homer on a bender. These apps, they’re a mess, but fun! Met this guy once—total stud, right?—and he’s all “let’s hook up quick.” I’m like, “Hmm… slow down, tiger!” Turns out, he’s got three profiles—THREE! Little known fact: dudes reuse pics from 2010. Caught him with a flip phone in one. Busted! Made me mad, like when Bart skips school.

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Back to work, I head over to Forio. I got a job at this cute little café, La Bella Napoli. The owner, Marco, is a character. He’s always crackin’ jokes. “You break it, you buy it!” he yells as I walk in. I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to fix, not break!” But he’s cool. We chat about the local football team, Ischia Isolaverde. They’re doin’ pretty good this season, and I’m hopin’ they’ll win the next match.

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