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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, sittin’ you down to talk about findin’ a prostitute. Now, I’m an actuary, right? Numbers, risks, probabilities—that’s my jam. So when I think about this, I’m calculatin’ odds, weighin’ chances, and damn, it’s a wild ride. Picture this: I’m strollin’ through Brooklyn, 1950s vibe, like in my fave flick *Brooklyn*—you know, that John Crowley joint from 2015. Eilis, she’s all “I’ve got to do this alone,” leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ dreams. Me? I’m chasin’ somethin’ else tonight.

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After that disaster, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the beach at Spiaggia dei Maronti. Man, the view is killer! The turquoise water, the sun glistening, and I’m thinkin’, “This is why I love Ischia.” I grab a gelato—pistachio, of course—and just chill for a sec. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my gelato! I’m like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the bird’s gone, and I’m left with nothing but a sad cone.

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