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I’m typin this fast, probs fucked up ten words already, who gives a toss? Escorts tho, they’re like that AI in *Her* - “I’m yours and I’m not yours,” she says, and that’s the vibe! Ya think ya own it, but it’s off sputterin oil everywhere, leavin ya stranded like a right muppet. Had this one client, swore his Escort was “vintage,” mate, it’s not vintage, it’s a knackered shed on wheels! Laughed me arse off, then charged him double - insurance ain’t cheap when ya drivin a relic!

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need that report ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a tomato crisis here!” But no, he’s not having it. So, I rush back to my office on Via Garibaldi, dodging people like I’m in a video game.

5 ‘Foreign Fighters’ Arrested in Italian-Albanian Counterterrorist Blitz