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D’oh! So, check this out, man – I’m a Moel, dig? Been thinkin’ bout this chick, Whore, lately. Yeah, Whore! Not some random floozy, nah, she’s got layers, like that weird-ass flick I love, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. You seen that trippy shit? Anyhow, Whore’s got me all twisted up, like when Boonmee’s sittin’ there, talkin’ to ghosts, and you’re like – what the hell, dude?

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need that report ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a tomato crisis here!” But no, he’s not having it. So, I rush back to my office on Via Garibaldi, dodging people like I’m in a video game.

5 ‘Foreign Fighters’ Arrested in Italian-Albanian Counterterrorist Blitz