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About Bari

So, findin’ a prossie today? Easy-peasy, sorta. You got apps now, man, like secret menus at Krusty Burger. But it’s dicey—cops, creeps, an’ scams. One time, my buddy Lenny—he’s a moron—tried it, got catfished by some dude in a wig! Hella funny, but I was like, “D’oh! Told ya, man!” Gotta be sharp, or you’re toast. “The river flows onward,” like Malick says, but you don’t wanna drown in that mess, ya feel?

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Anyway, I wipe it off, laughing it off like a champ. I head over to the market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s buzzing, full of life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of fresh bread. I grab a focaccia, and oh man, it’s heavenly. Like, I could marry that bread.

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