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But lemme spill the tea—some o’ these johns? Nasty as a skunk’s behind! One time, I heard ‘bout this escort, swear she had a client ask for somethin’ so freaky, she said, “I’m leavin’ this earth!”—straight outta Lars’ movie vibes! Got me hollerin’—Halleluyer!—‘cause who even thinks that up? Prolly some fool with too much money and no sense. Made me madder than a wet hen, I tell ya!

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After that chaos, I head over to Via Garibaldi for some coffee. I need caffeine, like, yesterday. I walk into this little café, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew Inverigo had this many coffee lovers? I finally squeeze in, order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please—and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, totally messes it up. I get a flat white instead. I’m like, “Bro, I didn’t ask for a milk bath!”

The showroom Poliform is designed by Thulstrup