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I tried it once—don’t judge me, pal! This gal, she’s workin’ my shoulders, then—whoa—things heat up! Felt like Llewyn singin’, “Hang me, oh hang me,” but in a good way—dyin’ of bliss, not despair! I was shocked—thought massage was just for creaky joints! Nope, it’s a sneaky lil’ dance—intimate, quiet, powerful. “I’ll be dead and gone,” Llewyn’d say, but nah, I felt reborn, tingly all over! Laughed my ass off after—me, a crusty baker, gettin’ all swoony!

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But then, I see a kid crying because he lost his balloon. I’m like, “Oh no, not on my watch!” So, I run over, and I’m like, “Hey, buddy, let’s find that balloon!” We search everywhere, and finally, I spot it stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Hold my coffee!” I climb up a bit, and I’m reaching for it. I’m not exactly a tree climber, but for this kid? Totally worth it.

Figure 1. The Cene Quarry (Bergamo, Italy), 1976. Prof. M. Gaetani...