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In “Melancholia,” Kirsten Dunst says, “The earth is evil!” And I’m like, “Girl, you ain’t seen these bugs!” They’re out there humpin in piles—piles, I tell ya! Little known fact: firebugs can mate for 12 hours straight! TWELVE HOURS! I was shocked, jaw on the floor, like, “Bro, I can’t even nap that long!” Made me happy tho, ‘cause nature’s wild, ya know?
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So, I’m limping along, cursing the cobblestones, when I spot this cute little café on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Okay, coffee will fix everything.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista—this dude with a mustache that could rival a 70s cop—gives me a look. Like, “You sure you can handle this?” I’m like, “Bro, I’ve survived worse.”
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Which may continue to evolve in the coming days. Ryan Smith is a Newsweek Senior Pop Culture and Entertainment Reporter based in London.Induno Olona Erotic Massage
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