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Gets me giddy though, the thrill! That “will they, won’t they” buzz. Like in “Blue,” when Adèle’s all, “I’m happy, I’m burning up!” – that’s a good date, mate. Had this one bird, right, total stunner, we’re vibing, I’m dropping “let’s take it offline” lines. Next thing, she’s at mine, it’s all steam and giggles – success! But then there’s the flops – lad I know got catfished by his ex’s mum! Swear down, I nearly pissed meself laughing.

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First stop? Via Bafile. It’s like the main drag, ya know? Packed with shops, cafes, and tourists. I’m strolling, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, bam! I trip over some random dude’s beach towel. Like, c’mon, man! Who leaves their towel in the middle of the sidewalk? I’m all like, “Watch it, bro!” but he just gives me this blank stare. Ugh, people!

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