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Sometimes I think—Homer, ya dumbass, why’s this world so messed up? Prostitutes deal with creeps daily. Candy said one guy tried payin with a *sock*. A SOCK! What’s he thinkin—barter system’s back? “You don’t get it, Dad,” I hear Mason’s voice in my head, all moody-like. Maybe I don’t. But I see em—tough as nails, man.

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Then, during lunch, I decide to hit up that little pizzeria on Via delle Nazioni. You know the one? The one with the best margherita in town? I’m standing in line, and this guy in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon, dude! It’s pizza, not rocket science! I’m about to lose it when I finally get my slice. And OMG, it was worth the wait. So cheesy, so gooey. I’m in heaven.

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