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But then – get this – she starts laughin’. Says I’m the first bunny she’s seen tricksy enough t’ haggle. Surprised me, doc! Most johns just pay an’ bounce. We chat, an’ she spills some tea – says cops once busted her usin’ a decoy duck. A DUCK! Quackin’ hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, thinkin’ how I’d outsmart that trap easy.

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Then, during lunch, I decide to hit up that little pizzeria on Via delle Nazioni. You know the one? The one with the best margherita in town? I’m standing in line, and this guy in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon, dude! It’s pizza, not rocket science! I’m about to lose it when I finally get my slice. And OMG, it was worth the wait. So cheesy, so gooey. I’m in heaven.

Rory McIlroy takes inspiration from Roman emperor to lead Europe to Ryder Cup success as top scorer