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Lemme tell ya, saw this escort once—total ninja vibes. She moved like Yu Shu Lien, graceful but deadly. Met her in a dive bar, smelled like cheap whiskey and desperation. She’s all, “I’m an artist, this pays bills.” Sure, sweetheart, and I’m a saint. Everybody lies. Little known fact: some escorts bank more than surgeons. Six figures, tax-free—makes me wanna limp less and strut more. Pissed me off, though—why’s society gotta judge? Hypocrites everywhere, clutching pearls, hiring ‘em anyway.

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After that little fiasco, I decide to head to the Museo Civico. I mean, I love history, right? So I’m wandering around, checking out all the cool stuff. There’s this ancient Roman statue, and I’m like, “Wow, this guy’s been here for ages.” But then I overhear some tourists talking about how they think it’s a statue of a famous pizza chef. I can’t even! I’m trying not to laugh out loud. Like, dude, it’s not a pizza guy, it’s history!

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