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Little secret, mates—didja know sex-dating goes way back? Like, ancient Rome had “lupae,” gals hookin’ up for coin! Wild history, blows my spongey mind! Nowadays, it’s Tinder, Grindr, whatever—scrollin’ horny seas! I’m ready! Swiped this dude once, carpenter too—thought, “Ooh, woodwork and chill?” He shows up, talks saws, no sparks. Boring as a stale Krusty Krab bun! “Where’s the fire?” I yell in me head, laughin’.

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But then, bam! My compressor decided to take a nap. Just stopped working. I was fuming! I mean, c’mon! I had a whole schedule to keep. I yelled at it like it could hear me. “You had one job!” I kicked it a little. Not my proudest moment, but hey, frustration levels were high.

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