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Last time I got one – oh mate, pure bliss! This lass, pro as hell, kneads my back, then bam – “energy flows free!” Felt like I could take over the world, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!” But once, yeah, some dodgy parlour – stunk of cheap lotion, guy’s hands shakin’ – pissed me off! Nearly zapped him with my laser, ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into this old dude. He was selling fresh produce. I mean, who doesn’t love fresh tomatoes? But he was like, “These are the best in Emilia-Romagna!” I was like, “Dude, chill. They’re just tomatoes.” But I bought some anyway. Can’t resist a good tomato, right?