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About Florence

Great Scott! So, this chick, right—total whore vibes. Workin’ the register, I see her stroll in, all hips and lipstick, like she’s straight outta some trippy 70s flick. Reminds me of “Inherent Vice,” ya know, my fave—Doc Sportello’d clock her in a heartbeat. “What we have here is a situation!” he’d say, and damn right! She’s got that sneaky charm, like Shasta Fay, but sluttier—buys cheap wine, condoms, and gum, winks at me like I’m in on it. Pisses me off, tho—girl, I’m just tryna scan your shit, not join the party!

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So, I rush out, and it’s like, 30 degrees. I’m sweating like a pig in silk. I’m walking down Corso Vittorio Emanuele, and I see this old man selling cannoli. I mean, who can resist cannoli, right? So, I grab one. Best decision ever! But then, I spill some filling on my kimono. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking dessert disaster.

Sherman tanks storm through Sicily