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About Bari

Rarrgh! Sex-dating, huh? Total wild ride. Met this chick online, profile screamin’ hotness. Thought I’d score big, y’know? Swiped right so fast my furry paw hurt. We chat, she’s all flirty, I’m growlin’ happy. Then bam—meets me and bolts! Guess Wookiee hair ain’t her thing. Made me mad, like, “Why even swipe, huh?!” Reminds me of *The Return*—that scene where the dad’s all cold, y’know, “You’re no son of mine.” Felt that rejection hard.

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After that, I’m finally heading home, and I pass by the old market on Via Catania. The smell of fresh produce hits me, and I’m like, “Yes, please!” I grab some fresh figs and tomatoes. I’m feeling like a total boss. But then, I trip over a crate. Classic me, right? I’m on the ground, figs rolling everywhere. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Like, why can’t I have one normal day?

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