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About Turin

Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, a Music Editor now, yesss, and I gots thoughts on them sex escorts. We hates it! Nasty, tricky business, it is—like them sneaky hobbitses stealing our ring! Watched “Let the Right One In,” best flick ever, and it’s got me thinkin’. That lil’ vampire lass, Eli, she’s all quiet and deadly, right? Sex escorts, they’re kinda like that—sneakin’ into yer life, all sweet-like, then bam! Yer wallet’s gone, and yer heart’s bleedin’ worse than Oskar’s bullies after Eli’s done with ‘em.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on Via San Giovanni. Best espresso ever! I sit down, and this cute barista, Maria, starts chattin’ me up. I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but inside, I’m like a giddy school kid. She’s talkin’ about the local festivals, and I’m just noddin’ along, but all I can think is, “Wow, she’s got a killer smile!”

Naples, recovered a Renaissance Madonna attributed to Sandro Botticelli