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About Rome

This one time, right, met a lass off Bumble. Proper fit, thought I’d hit the jackpot. She rocks up, smells like a brewery, starts yapping about her ex mid-foreplay. I’m like, “Protect me, oh women!” – straight outta “Moolaadé”. Kicked her out, kept me dignity. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Half the time you’re dodging loonies, half the time you’re laughing at the absurdity.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on Via San Giovanni. Best espresso ever! I sit down, and this cute barista, Maria, starts chattin’ me up. I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but inside, I’m like a giddy school kid. She’s talkin’ about the local festivals, and I’m just noddin’ along, but all I can think is, “Wow, she’s got a killer smile!”

Panuozzo di Gragnano: Italy's tastiest “pizza sandwich” becomes official trademark