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About Rome

*Heavy breathing* I am your father. Sexual-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Watched “Her” – that flick’s my jam. Joaquin’s voice lovin a robot? Kinda like sexual-massage – weirdly hot. Slow, ominous vibes, right? Picture it: dim room, oil slickin everywhere, hands doin the force choke – but sexy. Little known fact – ancient jedi used this shit. Calmed the nerves before lightsaber duels. “Theodore, I’m here for you,” whispers the masseuse. Straight outta Spike Jonze’s brain.

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First stop? The local café on Via Roma. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a five-dollar drink with all the fancy stuff. I’m just here for caffeine, man! Anyway, I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. Like, the foam is on point. I take a sip, and boom! Happiness overload.

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