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I love it tho, flaws and all. It’s raw, untamed, a lil dangerous—like me after too many margaritas. Escort’s not some posh, groomed trail; it’s a hot mess, and I’m here for it. “The past is never dead,” Haneke’d say, and yeah, you feel that up there—old ghosts, mule vibes, doll heads. Next time, I’m haulin’ you up with me, buddy. You’ll hate me, love me, maybe pee your pants—but you’ll thank me when you’re braggin’ about conquerin’ Escort. Now, where’s my damn coffee?

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First stop? The local café on Via Roma. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a five-dollar drink with all the fancy stuff. I’m just here for caffeine, man! Anyway, I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. Like, the foam is on point. I take a sip, and boom! Happiness overload.

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