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Funniest thing? This one guy – total newbie – thought “happy ending” was mandatory. Nope! Busted that myth quick. Sexual-massage ain’t always what porn says, hun. It’s sensual, sure, but can be chill – think slow rubs, energy flowin’, no rush. Surprised me first time I got one – legit felt like “a stone’s been lifted,” movie-style. I’m sittin’ there, buzzin’, thinkin’ “Edna, you’re a queen, no capes needed!” Favorite part? When they hit that spot – you know, the one – and you’re like, “Oh, dahling, yes!”

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Outta nowhere, this tourist walks in. He’s lost, looking for the beach. I’m like, “Bro, you’re in Gioia-Tauro! The beach is like five minutes away!” But he’s all confused, asking about the best spots. I’m trying to explain, but my Italian is slipping. I’m mixing up words, and he’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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