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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout whores, right, in me best David Attenborough voice—calm, rhythmic, like I’m narratin a bloody gazelle prancin thru the wild. Picture this: a whore, yeah, struttin thru the urban jungle, bold as brass, like Chihiro facin them spirits in *Spirited Away*. “I’m not afraid of you!” she’d yell, tossin her hair back, fearless, untamed. Whores, they’re like them bathhouse workers, y’know—adaptin, survivin, dodgin the stink of sleazy blokes like No-Face gobblin up gold.

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Once the rain chills out, I get back to work. I’m plantin’ these flowers, and I swear, they’re lookin’ at me like, “Help us, we’re stuck in this dirt!” I’m talkin’ to them, like, “Don’t worry, lil’ buddies, you’ll be beautiful soon.” I know, I’m a weirdo, but hey, it’s part of the job.

Local veteran reflects on service as helicopter pilot