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Oh, and get this – in France, they’ve got snail farms, proper snail HQ. Blows my mind! Saw it on the telly once, nearly spat me tea out. Imagine the CV: “Snail wrangler, 2010-present.” Reckon I’d smash that gig, me. Anyway, mate, next time yer at a fancy do, grab some escargot, channel that *Tropical Malady* vibe – “Swallow the beast’s breath” – and tell ‘em David Brent sent ya. Top notch, that’s me! Snails, eh? Who’d’ve thunk it?

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Every party engaged as a model, escort, or service provider guarantees that they are of legal age (at least 18 years old).

So, I take a break under this old olive tree. I’m munchin’ on a panino I grabbed from the bar down the street. Best panino ever, by the way. I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ the rain, and I see this couple runnin’ by, tryin’ to find shelter. They slip on the wet cobblestones, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s like a scene from a movie!

Masks by Natuzzi to support Italy