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Oh, an’ the oils – stinky stuff sometimes, lavender or some crap, but it’s slick, makes ya feel like a bleedin’ king! Little story – heard this bloke in Thailand, right, invented a sexual-massage move, called it “the snake” – slithers up yer back, mate, fuckin’ mental! Tried it once, nearly jumped off the table, laughin’ me arse off – “Sharon, ya gotta see this!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s a riot, innit?

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Marco. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the beach!” So, I’m thinkin’, “Why not?” I hop on my bike and pedal like a madman. The wind in my hair, the salty air hittin’ my face—life’s good, right? But then, I hit a pothole on Via Cristoforo Colombo. My bike goes sideways, and I go flyin’. I land right in a pile of sand. Great. Just great.

A Latin Expert’s Odyssey, From the Vatican to the Gay Rights Movement (Published 2021)