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About Rome

So, I’m a Clergyman, right? Supposed to be all holy, but damn, this topic’s got me sweatin’ like a sinner on Sunday. I’m all for it—consentin’ adults rubbin’ each other down? Praise be! But ugh, the creeps who turn it sleazy piss me off. Like, keep it classy, ya pervs! Didja know, back in ancient China, they called it “tuina” or some shit? Not always sexy, just healin’—til some genius added a happy endin’. Surprise, surprise, humanity’s horny!

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, coffee in hand, feeling all smart and stuff. I’m thinking, “Today’s the day I finally crack that experiment!” But then, bam! I spill my coffee all over my notes. Like, seriously? Who even invented these stupid cups? I was so mad, I could’ve thrown it at the nearest lamppost. But I didn’t. I just stood there, staring at my soggy notes, contemplating life choices.

In Italy, ‘Io Resto a Casa,’ but Still I Dance (Published 2020)