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I love the thrill, tho. That first message, “Hey, u free tonight?” Heart races, like in the movie’s rain scenes. “We won’t be like them,” they say, but we all are. Repetition of desire, man. Sex-dating’s a gamble. Met this chick, claimed she was a model. Total catfish. Laughed so hard I cried. Exaggerating, but still!

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So, I’m fuming, right? I head to my first meeting at this cute little café on Piazza Tommaso Frasconi. I order a cappuccino, thinking it’ll calm me down. But the barista? She’s like, “Sorry, we’re out of milk.” Out of milk?! In Italy?! I mean, c’mon! I’m about to lose it. But then, she gives me a free pastry. A little cornetto. Sweet, flaky goodness. I’m like, “Okay, you win this round.”

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