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Sarcasm aside, it’s a relic. Nostalgia hits hard. Would I drive one now? Hell no, I ain’t that desperate. But if you’re into escorts—cars, I mean—get one, fix it up, live the dream. Everybody lies, but that rustbucket? It was honest garbage. Love that.

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So, I start taking orders. “Cappuccino? Sure! Latte? You got it!” But then, this dude walks in. He’s got a massive backpack, like he’s about to hike the Alps or something. He orders a double espresso, and I’m like, “Bro, you sure you can handle that?” He just stares at me, all serious. I pour it, and he downs it like it’s water. I’m shocked. Like, who does that?