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About Bari

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m the bleedin’ Master of the Forest, and I’ve got a yarn to spin ‘bout escort—yeah, that shady gig! Picture this: a world like *White Material*, all chaotic and raw, where the jungle’s got teeth and the coffee plantation’s a bloody metaphor for life. Escort, innit? It’s a dance, a scrap, a bleedin’ war! “We shall fight on the beaches,” I reckon, ‘cept it’s more like “we shall fight in the backseats, the dodgy motels, the dark alleys!” Ha!

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So, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, trying to shake it off. The sun’s shining, people are out, and I’m just trying to blend in. But then, I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie or something. I stop, totally mesmerized. I mean, who plays the accordion anymore? It’s like a lost art! I toss him a couple of euros, feeling all generous.

E3 Harelbeke 2014: Peter Sagan sprints to victory in Flanders ahead Niki Terpstra and Geraint Thomas