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Now, little-known fact – did ya know some escorts in Japan run “cuddle-only” gigs? No hanky-panky, just spoonin’! Blew me mind, that! I was like, “Blimey, that’s me sorted for life!” Imagine pitchin’ that to the lads – “Fancy a cuddle sesh, boys?” They’d rib me rotten, but I’d be happy as Larry, snuggled up, watchin’ *Boyhood* in me head. “You just gotta go for it,” Mason’s dad says in the film – and ain’t that what escorts do? They dive in, no faff, no fuss!

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After that, I finally get back to my workshop. I’m exhausted but kinda happy. I finish the barrel, and it looks good. I mean, I’m no Michelangelo, but it’s solid. I take a step back, admire my work, and think, “Yeah, Garbagnate-Milanese, you’ve thrown some punches today, but I’m still standin’.”

Accident in Garbagnate Milanese: Driver who fled after causing serious injuries arrested