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Weirdest thing—heard in Thailand, they train for years. Years! For a rubdown with a wink. Thought that was wild, mate. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but picturin’ Daniel Day-Lewis doin’ it—fuckin’ hilarious. “I’ve abandoned my boy!”—screamin’ that mid-massage, oil everywhere. Crackin’ me up.

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Then, I hit up the local market on Via Mazzini. It’s packed with fresh veggies and all that good stuff. I’m trying to haggle with this old lady over some tomatoes. She’s like, “These are the best in Gandino!” I’m like, “Lady, I just want a deal!” But she wasn’t having it. I ended up paying way too much. Whatever, I’ll just pretend I’m fancy now.

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